everything & nothing

An understatement,
a subtle line,
a simple word
And now,
I’ve found everything.

Holding on to
nothing,
waiting for a sign,
something.

Struck with the
notion
that it is all finally
at my fingertips.

It’s here,
all that I’ve sought,
that I’ve dreamt,
that I’ve hoped.

An understated dream,
a subtle vision,
an endless stream of words.
I’ve found everything.

husband & wife

For Jenny B. and JPeG on their Wedding Day, November 17, 2009

The steady rhythm,
a feeling of wholeness,
a completion…
written simply in the word
Wife.

A collection of voices,
a sea of faces,
and the simple word
Husband.

A unity
A bond
A future filled with
purpose and joy.

The steady rhythm.
a feeling of happiness,
a celebration…
defined simply by the word
Forever.

They were now,
Husband and Wife.

knowledge & wisdom

The place between
knowledge and wisdom...
A wanderer on a brick road,
a cloud enriched sky,
the mist before sunrise,
the feeling that you're on your way…

…that the journey has just begun.
And it’s one filled with promise,
and the hope of new life.

night & day

I lay awake
burning,
breathing,
aching.

Staring out an open window,
seeing nothing but
the portrait of a night sky.
An embrace of just who
I really am now.

Intriguing how I can be so [whole]
during the day
and feel so - empty -
at the end of it.

I’ve convinced myself
I’m okay.
Convinced myself
I can survive.

But it’s at night,
when the distractions fade,
that I realize how
much of me
was tied into you

How much of my heart
was kept alive by your love.
And how much of my soul
was defined by the role you
held in my life.

It’s now,
at night…
that I feel the loss
that I feel the betrayal.
And I pray for the day
that I can lie in bed
and feel [whole] again.

worthy & cheap

If ever I needed a
reminder of what feeling
worthless was like
All I needed was to meet you

If ever I wanted to know the feeling
of being cheapened
All I needed was to open my
heart
to you
and watch it
b r e a k
in front of me

My head whispers
“you are worthy”
and my heart screams
“you are nothing”

In between
cheap and worth
I fall to my knees

I am a fool
Who let my
heart
be entrusted to the one
who would
b r e a k
it before he even had a chance
to sees it light

In between
cheap and worth
I curse you,
for being able to hurt me
in such a way

If I ever wanted to remember
the feeling of being worthless,
all I needed was to open my heart
to you
and watch it
b r e a k
in front of me…

love & war

All’s fair?…
Well here’s my decree,
I take it back:
every apology,
every sympathetic tone,
every inclination ,
that made my heart vulnerable again.

Again with the heartache.
Again with the anger filled stare.
Where is my retribution?
The time lost, the days wasted?

If all’s fair in love and war,
then my pain driven reaction must be justified.
My hate-filled strike warranted.

All isn’t fair
Life is never fair.
And the loathing I have toward you,
will never take the away the sadness
I feel about how unfair it is
that she got what I couldn’t have.

That she was the one who found herself,
in your arms.
Wrapped in an embrace
meant for me.
Replacing the one who had
so longed to
be where she was.

All isn’t fair…
Life is never fair…

rain & shine

The rain fell,
a testament to the storm in her heart.
The writings on the wall
had been clear:
Cease and desist.

And yet she forged ahead anyway.
The days of warmth and sun
replaced with a bittersweet sorrow.

If only the moments
that made it all seem real
could be bottled up and saved.

The rain fell,
washing away the illusions.
Leaving her with nothing
but an empty bottle

and a distant memory...

push & pull

A discord
The push and

pull of emotions

my heart screams

And yet

no words
leave my lips

A cry of my soul
Please come…
Please hear
what I cannot say

A push to move forward
A pull
to remain the same

Please come…
Please draw the words
that
I so desperately
need you to know

A discord,
A push and
a pull
Where will I end up?