butterfly wings

A tiny flutter

like the movement of

butterflies wings.

Soft, but strong.

Eager, and growing.

Fluttering about on

a quiet journey.

Day by day,

drifting toward

the moment when

you rest in my arms.

A tiny flutter.

Barely noticeable.

A quiet reminder,

that even now,

I protect you.

That you grow

inside of me.

Sheltered.

Loved.

Cherished.

My little butterfly.

A tiny blessing,

fluttering about inside.

in between the trees

So, In Between the Trees is finally complete and ready for purchase! What an amazing adventure it's been to put my journey through grief and self-discovery into words. Thank you to all the people who stood by me, who ready my poetry and gave me feedback, and to the man who helped make this dream a reality. I can't thank him enough for supporting me, for collaborating with me on this project, and for loving me endlessly everyday.

I hope you guys all purchase a copy and enjoy!


Purchase here: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/in-between-the-trees/11042856

morning vision

In the quiet moments of morning

when dawn has passed and nature

stirs, a blanket of peace rests over

the world. A vision of what could

be. An inspiration meant for me.

Breath deeply, live fully she says.

Transcendence will happen here. 

never ready

Distinctive sounds echoed off
the tunnel walls. Women gossiping,
children laughing. Feet back and
forth on the concrete floors. Anxiety
mounted as another train arrived.
Passengers came and went and
the train passed me by.

...I still wasn't ready.

intimate portrait

Somewhere between the darkness
of a cloudy sky and the light of the
blue peaking through, she feels peace
wash over her. When the colors fade
she sees the intimate portrait of her
life. And for the first time she sees
wonder in who she has become.

inspiration

A wonderful gift, from a wonderful man.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.9

tainted fall

Colors of fall painted the landscape outside the café window. She was melancholy, for reasons she was more than aware of. The smell of winter’s arrival was blowing in. The grey outside was a swift reminder of exactly what her life had become and it did little to light up the ivory of her skin.

The warm cup of coffee in her hands did little to chase away the cold of her fingers. What has it come to? She thought to herself. Life had turned upside down for her but even now, in the midst of the café that had become part of her morning ritual, she had no emotion. She was empty but there was nothing left to express.

Her thoughts turned to the way things were. The beautiful smile he gave to her and her alone. The goodness of his heart shone bright for her and she was like a moth to a flame. She touched her hand to her cheek. The last thing he had done was kiss her there and swiftly turn from her forever.

She wrapped her silk scarf tightly around her neck before grabbing her coat. Just as she opened the door to face winter’s oncoming her favorite server called back to her, “Have a wonderful day Emma!” It warmed her, “Thanks Adele, you too.” She smiled warmly before heading out into the cold.

The wind had picked up by the time she headed down the street and she dropped her head to avoid the onslaught of nature’s mocking. Suddenly there was a wall in front of her. Startled she began to apologize, “I’m so sorry sir. I wasn’t even paying attention…Daniel.” Shock registered on her face, “I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t worry about it, please excuse me,” his voice without emotion. She smiled nervously, “Of course,” the sadness showing in the corner of her eyes. She walked away from him after that; quickly but as to not give off the impression she was running. When in reality all she could think of was running, as fast as she could.

end of the road

There is an emptiness that

encompasses the soul

when everyone else leaves you

stranded.

When you’re the

only one left standing.

A void, an ache,

a deep and profound

loneliness.

It consumes me now.

Leaves me unsure, doubtful,

bruised.

I look around me, for

any sign of you.

And I find you nowhere in sight.

My heart is beating with

the sting of your

rejection.

And there’s nothing to be done.

No words, no way to right a

wrong.

We’ve reached the

end of our road together.

And the emptiness

encompasses my soul.

freedom

There was a freedom in his voice,
Freedom in knowing I was different now.
No longer bound by chains of hypocrisy.
Freedom in knowing it all came down
             to you and me.
Down to the moment you chose me
             and showed me life.
Because in the end, there's only love...

something consequential

Could the rest of my life
come down to one night?
One act of fate,
Two acts of courage,
Two souls entwined?

In between one and two,
The world fades away
And three brings me to you…

according to...

According to the look in

your eyes,

there is something you want to say.

Desire,

steady and pulsing

hums in the silence between us.

You’re body tells me you’re unsure.

The storm in your eyes

tells me you want me.

It’s the way you’re battling yourself

that leaves me waiting.

Gives me the patience

to let you figure it out.

Because according to the look in

your eyes,

you already know the answer.

fulfilled.

My soul was empty,

my heart longing.

Like a rushing wave,

love fell upon me.

Ending my heartache,

filling my soul.

Goliad.

Trees of sage and willow arched above me
as I walked the path to the presidio. The
warm summer air guided my journey to
this empty place. I lit a single candle in
memory of the ones who lived before me.
The walls here were lined with history,
aching to tell a story, reaching for the past.
Nowhere else to go, I sat and I listened.

haunted memory

There was a memory
Pushing at the surface
Flickering at the edges
Of her aching mind

She knew this melody
She had heard this voice
A whispered longing
Woven into the sound

It may have been the eerie house
Or the moonlit walls
It may have been the broken floors
Beckoning her forward
Or the clock that stopped in time
twelve minutes,
seven hours,
eighty years ago

Whatever it was haunted her

Called to her like a siren
A reminiscent chime
The tick tock echoing in the silent
Recesses of her aching mind
And a melodious whisper,

“tonight you remember me”

more.

I wasn’t sure where the tears ended

or the rain began.

All I knew was my heart was aching,

my limbs were sore,

my eyes were tired, and

my soul was dying.

The more I give the less I get back.

refuge & hope

There’s a sense of safety here
A genuine feeling of calm
And ease.
Where before there was fear
Now there’s peace.
Courage to move forward
Excitement to understand you
To breathe you in
To learn the things that make you, you

There’s a sense of hope here
An encouraging feeling of wonder
And readiness.
Where before there was insecurity
Now there’s confidence.
Yearning to be understood
To let you breathe me in
To reveal the things that make me, me

Where before there was chaos
Now there is tranquility.
There is something I haven’t discovered
Something waiting on the horizon
Growing, shifting in the air,
The pulse of something greater.
I feel it, I sense it

And if it is you who brings this,
I pray you are ever near.
Because this feeling,
this steadiness in my soul,
I never want to be without it again.

There’s refuge and hope here.
I feel no fear.

heaven & earth

When it rains…

Everything in between that moment of nature’s will.
The pain, the pleasure, the purpose-
fills up the emptiness between moments when
life and fate take control.
Surrender. Let go of your hold. Let heaven and earth
resolve their discord. Just believe.

…it is simply heaven meeting earth…

entity

Thunder like a song,

passing through my being.

You are part of me,

resting in the core of me.

open & closed

They say,
that when one door closes
another opens.

They say,
that everything that happens,
happens for a reason.

They say,
that when you fall
you must always get back up.

They say so much.
So many optimistic words,
so many promises of healing,
…joy

What they don’t say,
is that it aches,
that it breaks you apart
from the inside out.

They tell you to close the door
and look ahead to what
lies before you.

But they don’t tell you,
that closing the door
takes something from you.

They don’t tell you,
that you leave a part of yourself
behind in the process.

I’ve learned to take everything
they say
and make
my own decision.

I closed the door
for myself this time.
Closed it to heal my own heart.
And the most amazing door
Opened.

Opened to a future
that made sense,
that held purpose,
held love,
…joy

They tell you, that good things
come to those who wait.
That patience is a virtue,
that everyone will one day
open the door to what they’ve
been waiting for.

It was for your heart, I waited.
And it was the door to you
that finally brought all the pieces
together.

They say,
that when one door closes,
another most certainly
opens.

memories & hope

For the woman who has cherished each one of us...

my beautiful Grandma.

It was somewhere in between
watching her soul go ahead,
and watching her body fight to stay,
that we felt hope…

Tears of sadness,
at the memories laid behind us.
Tears of joy,
at the hope that lay before us.

We were in between celebration
and mourning.
But we had hope.

In everything that came to pass,
from here on out,
we would carry the memory of
her life,
her love,
and her laughter.

And we would not only
find ways to honor her
memory,
but keep it alive with us.

This was her legacy…
A circle of the love,
that she had instilled in each of us.
A unit of the strength,
that came from the woman
she had always been.

It was in her memory,
we found the most hope.

To live with a purpose
she would be proud of,
a love that would challenge hers,
and a willingness to laugh
that would bring a smile
to the angel she now was.

We are her legacy,
finding our footing…
In between memories and hope